Iya Villania on raising kids with less screen time

MANILA, Philippines, January 7 ------ Parenting five children in the digital age has taught Iya Villania-Arellano the delicate balance between setting limits and giving freedom, especially when it comes to screen time. The “24 Oras” co-anchor recently opened up to The STAR about how her family’s relationship with gadgets evolved over the years. Especially so after the pandemic blurred boundaries for gadget use as school, play and social life moved online. “Prior to the pandemic we were on a only weekend screen type of setup,” she shared. “Basta weekend lang, doon lang sila pwede mag-screen time whether it’s TV or gadget.”

That rule, however, became difficult for her and husband Drew to maintain once lockdowns set in. “Then the pandemic happened and I was still trying to stick to the rules and was like, love, now what the world is going through, it’s not normal. Parang let’s chill a little bit,” she said. “And before we know it, mga two to three years na ganun.”

Over time, Iya began to notice the effect too much screen time was having not just on her children, but on herself as a parent. “Medyo I felt that they started to get too much of it,” she said. “I also felt I was less agitated with them without the gadgets.” Sometime last year, for roughly three months, she and Drew decided to implement a full gadget break. “It was supposed to just be a month of that, but we extended it to two months,” she said. “Actually, they were grounded for just a month. But we went longer than that but (I told Drew) I think it’s not fair that we don’t bring it back as they’re also asking and wondering, okay, what’s gonna happen with the gadgets, do we still get to play although they weren’t nagging us about it.”

Eventually, they brought gadgets back but with firmer rules. “Every Friday, they get one hour in the afternoon between 1:30 to 4 p.m. Then on Saturdays they get one hour in the morning and one hour in the afternoon. And then that’s it na,” she said. “And it’s been really nice… Having that break was such a breather for the whole family.”

Without screens, “daily negotiations” disappeared. “Normally with the gadgets, it was always, ‘I’ll do school work so that I can have screen time.’ It was always about game time,” she said. “Taking that away, parang it wasn’t about that anymore.” One of the harder decisions involved removing a game. “I actually allowed them to play Roblox because I wasn’t thinking much about it,” she admitted. “But eventually I just felt so convicted about it. It just wasn’t feeling good.”

She acknowledged how difficult it was to take something away after permitting it at first. “Anything that you already gave tapos biglang babawiin mo, ang hirap, di ba?” she said. “I know that that was really hard for them.” Still, the long-term change was worth it. “It’s so nice because they play more together now, they’re not so atat,” she said. “It’s really addicting, eh. So I love that we’ve reached the point where they’re not addicted to it anymore. Hindi nila hinahanap and that not everything that they do is thought of as being able to earn gadget time. Ang saya!”

Iya understands why many parents hesitate to impose limits. “I remember being in a position where naiinggit ako dun sa mga moms na talagang kaya na walang gadgets,” she said. “Parang sana kami din.” Now that she’s on the other side of that struggle, she hopes her experience can encourage others. “It’s hard in the beginning. But kaya pala,” she said. “The way I’m inspired by other parents who are strict about it, I’m hoping to be able to inspire others to have more courage also to put their foot down,” she said. “Because if there are more parents out there who believe also in the restrictions and not having so much of it, then it will also be easier for everyone else.”

With gadgets gone, creativity filled the gap. “Imagination,” she said, citing an example. “They’ll play the soundtrack of ‘Street Fighter,’ tapos kunwari sila sila yung characters. They dress in costumes hahaha! I mean, we’re also in the position where there are many of them to play with each other.” Another activity she has been incorporating into their family life is getting her kids involved in the kitchen. She even enrolled them in actual cooking classes. “Parang their science class is actually a cooking class. So, I feel like the more they are involved in their food, the more open their eyes are to different tastes, different textures,” Iya shared.

She likewise observed that such activities taught her kids about confidence, independence and nutrition.

“As a mom, I just want my kids to grow up healthy, happy and confident. We do our best with meals and staying active,” said Iya, who has been advocating vitamins and supplements that help with energy and appetite, and collaborating with the brand Propan TLC, a vitamin preparation with Taurine, Lysine, Chlorella growth factor. More than gadget dependency or device overuse, Iya admitted that her biggest fear as a parent today is the many influences beyond her control. But rather than trying to shield her children from everything, she and Drew focus on building trust. “We’re really trying to establish an open relationship with our children,” she shared. “So should there be anything that they are uncertain of, they can ask us.”

Community also plays a role. “It also helps having a community that we can trust,” she said. “Having neighbors that I know also love my children.” Still, Iya recognizes the limits of what parents can do. “No matter how much you try to protect them, there’s only so much that we can do,” she said. “So, I really just wanna lift them up to the Lord and just pray that God will also protect them.”

Source: philstar.com