What’s the secret behind Carmina Villarroel and Zoren Legaspi’s lasting marriage?

July 20 ------ More than 25 years into their relationship and a decade into their marriage, Carmina Villaroel believes there is no magic formula to a lasting marriage but only two people who continue to choose each other every day.

In an interview on Hot Takes, the actress opened up about her life with husband Zoren Legaspi, sharing the values and habits that have helped keep their relationship strong through the years. The couple, who are parents to twins Mavy and Cassy Legaspi, have long been admired for their enduring marriage.

For Carmina, one of the biggest reasons their relationship has lasted is that they both genuinely want it to work. "Siguro parang mukha siyang madali kasi pareho naming gusto ni Zoren na mag-work 'yung relationship. Actually, effort naman kasi 'yan eh. Dapat both parties, dapat effort 'yan pero it comes naturally. Ayokong gamitin 'yung word na effort [purely] kasi parang nag-eeffort ka eh, parang napipilitan ka. Pero sa amin ni Zoren, it comes naturally. Maybe because – given na 'yung pagmamahal eh, the love is there, the trust – pero siguro dahil pareho naming gusto [and] we want this marriage to work, so it comes naturally."

She added that keeping God at the center of their marriage has also helped them overcome every challenge they have faced together. "Tsaka siguro, importante na si God 'yung nasa center ng relationship niyo kasi pag si God talaga 'yung nasa center ng relationship niyo, kahit ano pang bagyo ang dumaan, kahit ano pang pagsubok, trials, o failures, ma-o-overcome ninyo 'yan eh."

According to Carmina, maintaining a relationship should never feel forced. "Alam niyo 'yung effort na effortless? It comes naturally," she maintained. "Kasi ang hirap eh kapag pinipilit mo 'yung sarili mo and at the same time, pinipilit mo 'yung partner mo. Kasi kapag may pilitan, ibig sabihin, 'ano ba ito ayaw na natin?' Kasi may pilitan na nangyayari. Kaya ko sinasabi na it comes naturally. Because every day, it has to be like that. Every day, parang dapat you work on your relationship, you work on your marriage."

The actress also stressed the importance of open communication, saying it has become one of the strongest foundations of their family. "Kailangan bukas palagi 'yung communication [lines] mo. I'm not saying that we're perfect, but since kami, dahil very open 'yung communication lines namin, we talk about anything under the sun, anytime of the day. We're very open kahit sa mga anak namin, so siguro 'yun yung maganda sa amin."

After years together, Carmina said she and Zoren already understand each other even without words. Asked whether couples naturally lose the "spark" after being together for so long, Carmina shared a different perspective. "Yung spark, dapat hindi mawala eh. I don't believe na it fades, siguro parang it evolves."

She explained that while the excitement of a new relationship may eventually change, it should transform into something deeper and more comforting over time. The celebrity mom added that a relationship must feel like a "comfort zone," which for her is possible, admitting that she easily gets anxious, but Zoren has always been the person who keeps her grounded. "Hindi dapat mawala [yung spark]. Nandiyan lang 'yan. Nag-e-evolve sa iba't ibang mga ways. Tapos siguro, ang maganda kasi – it takes two to tango. So kailangan talaga na you really work in your relationship," she maintained. "Kung talagang gusto mo at nire-respeto mo 'yung relationship na 'yun, you'll work on it every day. You don't take [it] for granted."

Carmina admitted there are moments when she catches herself taking Zoren for granted, especially since he is the "quiet" one in their relationship. Whenever that happens, she makes a conscious effort to show more affection and express her love through her own love languages. Meanwhile, she also described Zoren as someone who may not always verbalize his feelings but consistently shows his love through his actions. "Talagang mararamdaman mo na I am important. Mararamdaman mo na mahal niya ako. Mararamdaman mo na he really cares for me and the family. He doesn't say it all the time, but we know through his actions. Nararamdaman ko talaga 'yun."

"Sa stage na ng buhay namin, ng marriage namin, parang constant communication na lang talaga eh. Like I said, that's how we keep the relationship or spark na sinasabi nila. Just by being there – makipag-usap ka or you share hobbies together, or sports. Kung hindi mo man trip 'yung hobbies niya, tanungin mo lang."

Even if couples do not necessarily enjoy the same interests, Carmina believes showing genuine curiosity about a partner's passions can go a long way. "Be curious kung ano man 'yung hobby or sport niya, kung hindi mo man kayang sakyan. Magpakita ka ng interest. It doesn't mean naman na maki-join ka." Beyond their marriage, she shared that communication is just as important within their family. She said she and Zoren make it a point to share meals with Mavy and Cassy so they can catch up despite their busy schedules.

Source: news.abs-cbn.com