Kaye Abad opens up about how her faith guided her through cancer

July 13 ------ Kaye Abad said her fear of her breast cancer coming back has only grown stronger since she was declared a survivor. She shared that it was her faith and her two young sons who kept her fighting through the year she spent quietly battling the disease.

She opened up about this in an extended, candid conversation with actor, longtime family friend, and former Tabing Ilog co-star, Paolo Contis. Kaye said people often assume that being declared cancer-free means the hardest part is over, but for her, that has not been the case. "Pag dineclare na na you're a survivor, parang tapos na, natanggal na, the journey doesn't end there. Actually, mas ngayon ko na-feel na parang mas takot ako ngayon," she said.

She undergoes scans every few months to check for any sign that the cancer has returned or spread, and she said that the waiting period brings its own kind of dread. "Mas takot ako ngayon," she repeated, adding that doctors do not consider patients entirely free of cancer since dormant cells can remain in the body. "Dormant lang," she said of what survivorship really means medically, even as she carries the title of survivor.

Asked whether she ever reached a point of wanting to give up during treatment, Kaye said that was never an option for her, and her answer came back to her sons. "Not an option, because again, I want to see my children grow," she said. She recalled how hard it became to sit through her sons' school programs, catching herself holding back tears at simple moments like watching them perform on stage. "Ito na ‘yung last time na makikita ko sila mag-perform," she remembered thinking, before forcing the thought out of her mind. "Binubura ko sa utak ko. Hindi. Kaya lalaban ako," she said.

She said her sons were, in many ways, the reason she pushed through the physical and emotional toll of her treatment. "I still want to see my kids grow. I want to be there," she said, adding that life feeling shorter than she once assumed pushed her to want to enjoy more time with her family rather than less. Her faith carried her through the moments she could not lean on anyone else.

Kaye said she did most of her praying alone in the bathroom, one of the few private spaces she had during treatment, and that she prayed out loud rather than silently. "I pray in the restroom because I pray out loud. I talk to Him. Like a conversation," she said. "I cry every time I pray." Her prayers, she said, were simple and direct. "Please, I'm very happy with my life right now. I'm very content. Please don't take me away. I want to see my kids grow," she recalled asking God.

She said she was at peace with whatever outcome awaited her, even as she kept fighting for a different one. "If I don't make it, I will accept, kung ‘yun ‘yung plano niya sa buhay ko. But then, I wanted to live. So I will do my part," she said. She described one moment early in her diagnosis, right after a doctor told her surgery was no longer an option because the cancer had already reached her liver and underarm, when she broke down completely before a sense of calm took over. "Parang biglang pina-feel sa akin na don't worry, ‘I'm here, I will take care of you,’" she said, describing it as an assurance that she was not carrying the fight alone. Throughout her treatment, she leaned on devotions to St. Rita, Santo Niño, and Padre Pio, praying to each of them nightly for healing and strength.

She said the experience deepened her faith rather than shook it. "Relihiyosa ako, pero ngayon mas grabe ako naging relihiyosa. Naniniwala talaga ako na nandyan Siya," she said, crediting her faith for giving her the courage to keep going. "Mahina ako. Iyakin akong tao. Mahina ang loob ko lagi. Konting sugat lang na maliit, like inoperahan ako ng maliit lang, grabe ko ‘yan ingat. Kasi takot ako baka bumuka,” she added. “With this one, nagulat ako sa sarili ko na parang ngayong ang tapang ko. Nakuha pa nga natin mag-joke. Kasi naramdaman ko na ang tapang ko. Binigyan Niya ako ng tapang para lumaban,” she continued.

Asked what advice she would give to others going through the same experience, she said: “Just trust the Lord, don’t question. Kung ano man ang plano niya, just trust Him. Wala naman siyang ibibigay na hindi natin kaya.”

Source: news.abs-cbn.com